When my relationship ended, there was this thought running through my mind that at this age I might as well just give up on the whole dating thing. Add this to all my previous relationship disasters and I didn’t see a reason to even bother.
Then a “married into our family” family member told me that she had been married twice before she married my family member (did you get that? I was sworn to secrecy so I have to be very careful). It helped me in how I was looking at my situation. I realized that I could do it. It wasn’t too late. That was just the relationship to help me realize that I could do what needed to be done to create a good relationship. I just needed to find someone who was willing and able to make that happen with me. Everything happens for a reason.
I started lifting my head up and looking around more. I wanted to see what I was missing while I was stuck inside my own head. I tried using a technique that I used to use all the time called the Buddha Smile where you make a conscious effort to smile all the time. It’s pretty amazing how much that can actually lift your spirits. It’s like it tricks your brain into thinking you are happy and then you feel happy. Everything happens for a reason.
So, while walking around smiling and really noticing the world around me, I started to see all the other people and then something happened…I met someone.
It was one of those meet-cutes that would make an awesome story for the grandkids. It was at the grocery store. He asked me if I knew how to tell if the pears were ripe. This cracked me up because I’m usually the one asking women around the produce section if stuff is ripe or if it’s supposed to look like that (I wonder if those women thought I was hitting on them). After admitting to him that I had absolutely no idea we started chatting. I noticed that he was dressed like he had just come from the office in his business casual getup. Usually that isn’t really a turn on to me but for some reason, he didn’t look uptight in them. His persona was more casual than business. And he was REALLY good-looking too, which didn’t hurt.
His name was John and he asked me if he could call me sometime because he’d like to take me out to dinner. About a thousand thoughts ran through my head at once. He’s really nice and that’s a hard thing to find. He obviously has a job and he’s soooo good-looking. And then I started to think, yeah, he’s nice, has a job and is good-looking so he deserves someone who is going to be all in for him. So I said “I would really love that, but I just got out of a relationship and I’m just not ready to date yet.” And oh the hurt look on his face. I felt so bad and was afraid that maybe he didn’t believe me and actually considered telling him the awful story of the last two weeks with The Ex but decided that I didn’t owe that to him. I was being honest and he could do with that as he pleased. I needed to worry about myself and I know that getting back into the dating game this soon after getting out of a relationship is just not a good idea. But everything happens for a reason.
Since then I’ve paid more attention to the people around me and have noticed guys noticing me. And just little things like that have given me a much needed boost in the ego. Every time it happens a little voice in the back of my head says “You still got it girl!”
My heart and ego are on the mend! And I feel like I’m one step closer to becoming me again.