It’s about time for “The Talk”……

And the idea of it makes me so nervous. I’ve been putting it off for too long now and just have to do it.  I’m just afraid of saying the wrong thing or getting embarrassed and making her uncomfortable.

I have a couple of books. The Care and Keeping of You and Growing up, It’s a Girl Thing but there is a lot of stuff in those books that I’m not sure I’m ready to talk to my 10-year-old about. I want to have a nice, long talk with her about anything and everything she has questions about. I want her to come to me when she’s a teenager and dealing with all the crap that comes along with being a teenager.  I want us to have a much better relationship than my mother and I had. But I’m afraid we are going down a bad road of constant arguing and yelling.

My mother had the talk with me by giving me a pamphlet called “Love Bugs.” Yeah, all about STDs. Needless to say, I never talked to my mother about any of those things I had questions about. I talked to my friends about it and got a lot of bad information.

It used to be easy. It was me and her and our little world worked great. But now I have to tell her 1o times to do anything and then she gets all mouthy when I end up yelling because she still hasn’t done what I told her to do. I think if we can connect over “The Talk” then maybe I can get her to trust me with any other issues she may come across.

Have you given the talk yet?  If you have, how did you do it and how old was your kid?  If you haven’t,  why?


6 thoughts on “It’s about time for “The Talk”……

  1. April

    Yes, but I didn’t have the Talk all at once. We started first with the changes she’ll experience in her body, and then we moved on to the other talks. And we’ve had quite a few! I think you’re going into it with the right attitude. You’ll know what words to use, how to phrase it, based on your relationship and your personalities.

  2. vinomom

    My daughter is 9 and I haven’t done The Talk yet although we’ve had enough conversations I’m fully aware she knows what sex is and a lot of other things as well. She’s been complaining lately that she doesn’t want to get her period. I am so happy that she will say that sort of stuff in front of me because I would never have said that to my mom even at 9. Good Luck. I don’t think you need to do it all at once either though like April said.

  3. itneverrainsinseattle

    My oldest (all three of my kids are boys) turns eight this summer, so thankfully, we’re a couple years away from “The Talk(s)”. I’m big on procrastination.

    But I like your approach immensely — that of getting a couple of books that are friendly and positive, and (per April’s approach) starting with a simple conversation about changes they’re likely to experience in their bodies, and go from there.

    When I was growing up, my folks and I didn’t talk much on the subject, but there were books around the house on the subject, and that was where I got a great deal of my information.

    Given certain problems in my marriage that are contributing to our impending divorce, I must stress the idea that neither boys nor girls should be brought up to think sex is bad, or a “necessary evil,” or unimportant. Sex is only one part of a healthy, adult relationship, but it’s an important part! And, hey, it should be fun.

    So, toward that end, in addition to those books you are thinking of giving her, allow me to suggest that somewhere in your house, accessible (but not blatantly so), have a copy of a basic human biology textbook, the Joy of Sex, etc. Maybe also keep fiction around that has strong female characters who deal with relationships (both sexual and non-sexual) in a way that you think make good points for your children to consider. I think sex and biology often become a course of “self-directed study”. Make sure you have good materials lying around the house for just such an occasion.

  4. Teresa

    The talk came because the school was doing the film and I wanted to have most of it out of the way before then. I made his father do some of it since I don’t have those parts.

    We publish the AMA Guides to Girls/Boys Guides to Becoming a Teen. I left it out on the coffee table and let him read and we read together and then I answered all of the questions.

    Good luck!

  5. Momma Sunshine

    My girls are 5 and 7. I (and their dad) have been talking to them about their bodies and sexuality since they were very small. Of course, we always made sure that the info they were given was age-appropriate. I think that doing “The Talk” in small doses makes it seem more natural and just a part of life, rather than this huge traumatic thing.

    Good luck. It’s not easy. 🙂

  6. Semi-Hippie Solo Mama Post author

    Thanks for the advice everyone. I ended up giving her the books and telling her to ask me if she had any questions. I gave her the option to read them herself or to read them with me. So, I’m just waiting to see what happens after she reads them.


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