There will not be a “diet” this year, there will be healthy eating. Dieting makes me think of nothing but food all day long. And it makes me very cranky and snippy. This crankiness is usually taken out quite a bit on my work neighbor. She is over 6 feet tall, skinny and beautiful. So I pretty much hate her when I’m dieting. This is not fair to her. So just making a conscious effort to eat healthier will (I think) work better for me. I need to do this for my daughter as much as for myself. The little junk food junky that I have created is starting to get a little junk in her trunk. And I don’t want her to be 34 and still be a junk food junky (like her mother). The fact that I HATE to cook is the main issue that must be dealt with here. I’ve tried all the things that are supposed to help make cooking easier. What it comes down to is that I am just too lazy to do it. It’s wasting too much money and creating a terrible habit that will be very hard for Dancing Chick to kick the older she gets.
The laziness comes from the slovenly lifestyle that I have sunk back into. I know that if I get my huge, lazy ass out of bed and take the two steps (yes, literally two steps) to the treadmill in the morning I will not only have more energy but my entire outlook and attitude will change. It’s amazing how quickly I have lost sight of goals because my laziness makes it easy to not do it rather than work hard. I hate that. That is such a terrible role model for my kid. I took last term off from my classes so that has helped me to be even lazier. When I am doing some kind of running program I feel better about myself and just have a better outlook in general. And I know this. I have more energy. And I know this. I give my kid more attention and have more patience with her. And I know this. I lose weight and feel more in control. And I know this. I have a general, all-around sunnier disposition. And I know this. So why can’t I just do it? I don’t know that.
So instead of making my usual list of resolutions that make me just too overwhelmed that I give up on all of them, I am going to take each day and do what I know I should do. Get up early and use my treadmill, eat healthier, meditate, get homework/reading done before the exact minute it is due, get to bed earlier and anything else that I know will help me be the me I want to be each day. All of this together will help me accomplish the biggest resolution I have for myself and that is to be a better me, the me that I know I can be and really want to be. It’s just time to get out of my own way.