I’ve been thinking about this for the last week or so and it’s harder to figure out than I thought. If you take everyone else out of the equation, it’s not as clear as I thought it would be. I know what I want for Dancing Chick, but if I take what I want for her out of my own “What do I Want” equation, it’s like a blank slate. I should now exactly what I want so I can go after it each day. So why do I have no idea?
It all started when I realized that I procrastinate on every aspect of my job. I really just don’t want to do it. My company is paying for me to finish my degree so I have to stay for at least a year after I’m done or I have to pay it all back. But I really just hate my job. And if you are spending most of your time doing something you really don’t want to do, that’s just not healthy. The problem is that to start over is really not possible at this point. I have a mortgage to pay now and a child to take care of. I can’t take a cut in pay to start at the bottom. So where does that leave me in the whole finding happiness in a job path? Pretty much stuck. I need to figure out exactly what I want to do that also involves something that I love and feel passionate about. I know that most people don’t like their job but I don’t want to live like that. It makes me a grumpy person and that’s just not good.
I guess I really need to do some soul-searching. The toughest part of being a mother, I think anyway, is remembering to do for yourself. We want so badly to make sure our kids are happy and healthy that what we want becomes blurred with what is best for our kids.
Mission #1: Figure out what I want.
Mission #2: Figure out how to get it.
Mission#3: Put plan into action (I have a feeling this will prove to be the hardest mission).